Christmas 2015

The Loser got these an hour ago. They're gone now. He ate them to try to fill a hole in his miserable, lonely life.

It is warm and sticky where the Complete and Total Loser lives, which is on the northern East Coast of the United States. It has yet to go down to freezing. There are bugs everywhere, new growth on plants. Earthworms are rioting in the streets after yet more rain. The humidity makes the Loser feel the bacteria clinging to his face, which is oily even though he's in late middle age. His sole gift has been a tin of nuts from a friend, and he's grateful to get it as he's unemployed again. A neighbor just gave him cookies, which he will eat even though he doesn't need them. Meanwhile, the Loser has a splitting headache and a bad cold and he's exhausted.

Life at times

Thanks to what happened last night around ten o'clock, every cent (and more) the Complete and Total Loser has made at his seasonal $9-an-hour McJob will now be spent on removing tree debris. You just can't win sometimes. Especially if you are the Complete and Total Loser.

Star Wars

Long before the Complete and Total Loser was an insufferable adult, he was an insufferable youth. When Star Wars debuted in late May of 1977, the Loser went to see it and was disappointed. At the time, he was interested in "film," as he called it, and sought movies with compelling, interesting people and ideas. George Lucas's movie had neither.

The Loser grew up in some ways and came to take the movie as the fun adventure it was meant to be. He hopes that when he has a day off and views—alone, of course—the latest in the franchise that he'll be able to enjoy it for what it is. 

This has nothing to do with the original Star Wars movie or this post, but who cares?

Mens' reasons

In 2008, US strip clubs brought in an estimated $2 billion, with over 300,000 women employed at around 3,000 clubs. By 2010, the number of clubs had grown to an estimated 4,000.

The Complete and Total Loser has never been to one, but he can see their appeal. Or his version of it. Look at this girl he saw on YouTube. Her name is Katee Owens. Her breasts are DDD in size, and natural. The Loser dislikes large breasts, but he can't stop looking at this girl, here dancing to "Radar Love." Why? Because she's smiling as if she likes whomever is looking at her, in this case the Loser, and her smile looks real. No woman has ever smiled like that at the Loser, ever, not even once.  

What makes the news vs. what doesn't

From the 12/8/15 Philadelphia Inquirer, page B-6.

When the pope blesses a sick kid and the kid gets better, it's a miracle that goes on page one. When the kid dies, which is far more often the case, it gets buried on B-6, if it's mentioned at all.

Mass shooting tweets

Even the Complete and Total Loser, with his limited brain power and comprehension abilities, can see the difference in the sentiments expressed on Twitter by Republican presidential candidates versus Democratic presidential candidates. 
The Republicans invariably resort to the tired, meaningless "thoughts and prayers" cliché to show their commitment to blind faith. The Democrats seek actual solutions which, if followed, just might lower the number of Americans killed by guns to fewer than one every sixteen minutes. 

Another day, another mass shooting ...

Will it never stop? The Complete and Total Loser supposes not. If only mass shooters would read this blog and single him out. If you're going to murder someone, wouldn't it make more sense to weed out the Loser's ilk before decent people not very different from you?

New job, first day

Books? Who the hell reads books anymore?

The Complete and Total Loser started orientation for his new job at ten o'clock yesterday. At 10:15, the woman giving it quit, so the Loser gave the rest of it by reading from the packet and winging it. Everyone was on the registers by 10:30. At 10:45, all the supervisors and all but one of the managers quit, so the Loser had to step in and do even more. At 11:55, the one remaining manager quit, so the Loser took over everything. At one o'clock, the district manager came in after lunch and said he'd gotten a better offer so he was leaving too. The Loser bought slices of a cheesecake in the cafeteria and held a brief going away party for him, whatever his name was. He was gone by 1:20. The Loser called the CEO of the company and told him what was going on. He promoted the Loser over the phone to store and district manager, so the Loser's gonna be pretty busy! At three the Loser decided the store's sales were high enough for the day so he closed the store. Some customers weren't too happy about that, but the Loser's new staff was as he'd said they'd get paid for the day and bumped up their salaries by $5 an hour. 
Later last night, the company's CEO called the Loser and said he was thinking of getting out of retail and going into teaching and did
the Loser have any interest in his position? The Loser told him he disliked being called at home after work but that he'd think about it. 
It was a heck of a first day. The Loser will open the store today at noon, maybe later. He may be late because he's going to swing by a grocery store and buy a lot of produce and meat to sell instead of the company's main current product, which is books. He might also get a few dozen cases of beer too and see how those sell. He has a company credit card, so it won't be at his expense.