Free advice

"Well," the dog said, "it's a big tree, yes, but if you apply yourself for a few hours a week you should be able to chop into small enough pieces to supply yourself with firewood for some time. Of course, being a Complete and Total Loser, you'll probably be too lazy to do that and you'll pay some tree guys two grand to get rid of it. They'll chop into firewood and sell it and you won't get any of that money, you loser."

Life at times

Thanks to what happened last night around ten o'clock, every cent (and more) the Complete and Total Loser has made at his seasonal $9-an-hour McJob will now be spent on removing tree debris. You just can't win sometimes. Especially if you are the Complete and Total Loser.