Showing posts with label museum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label museum. Show all posts

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Loser deals with a lost girl

The museum where the Complete and Total Loser works is hosting a special exhibition of colorful clothes. To accentuate them, all surfaces but the floor in the large gallery have been painted black. As with any exhibit of textiles, the lighting is dim for conservation reasons, but direct. The pathways are at odd angles, merging, circling, forking. Most leave the gallery and enter the exhibition store pleasantly dazzled.
Not the lost girl today.
“I can’t find my parents,” she told the Loser. She’d made it through the crowded store and reached the final register, weaving through giants, when she realized she’d exhausted all spaces. She was around seven or eight and couldn’t have been more than four feet tall. Cute, though the tiny face was scrunched in misery, eyes brimming with tears. Light sobbing had started.
The Loser, childless, of course, guided the girl in reverse through the exhibit, distracting her with comments about how dark it was and its similarity to a movie theater he worked in as a teenager and other tales, all with that heightened delivery those not used to talking to children use, thinking it will maintain their interest (“You know what happened to me once?”).
After a few minutes—long ones for the child—Josh, her brother, darted by and just after there was Mommy, lost in her audio tour.
Girl melded to woman, face pressed into soft, maternal abdominal muscles. The Loser gave the adult a little wave, a smile and shrug and retreated to his register. He glimpsed the girl some minutes later as they exited the packed store.
Later the Loser realized that chief among things he said to the girl were assurances that her lost state (or was it the parents who were lost?) was a common one. This isn’t true, at least to the degree it had reached for her. The Loser realized his goal was to relieve her of embarrassment, to help her not come away from the experience feeling dumb. 

crow in tree

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bomb Threat


The Complete and Total Loser works in a public place. A museuThe Complete and Total Loser works in a public place. A museum. Recently he found a card under my phone on what to do if he gets a bomb threat. Here it is.
Bomb Threat Data Card
Place this card beneath your telephone
Questions to ask:
1. When is the bomb going to explode?
2. Where is it?
3. What does it look like?
4. What kind of bomb is it?
5. What will cause it to explode?
6. Did you place the bomb?
7. Why?
8. What is your name?
9. What is your address?
Exact wording of the threat:
______________________________________
* Immediately report threats to Security at extension 555
* Do not dial 911
* Do not discuss a threat with fellow staff

On side two of the card:
Language (check those that apply):
Well spoken
Pre-recorded
Pre-written message read
Irrational
Incoherent
Obscene
Other
Caller’s voice:
Normal
Lisp
Stutter
Deep
Cracking
Calm
Excited
Angry
Yelling
Laughing
Crying
Familiar (who?) _____________
Accent (what kind?) ______________
Other __________________
Sex _________ Age ____________
Background sounds:
Voices
Street noises
Phone operator
PA system
Machinery
None
Other __________
Remarks: _______________________________
Name ___________________
Department ______________________
Extension ___________________
Call received at: date ________ time __________ a.m. p.m.
Length of call __________________
Security notified at __________________ a.m. p.m.m