Tuesday, May 20, 2014

This will be the year

Yesterday at 8:06 a.m. the Complete and Total Loser completed his 56th year of living outside his mother's body.
Since he was in his mid 40s, the Loser has joked about how at a specific age, when he imagined getting money, work, women and himself sorted out he'd find himself feeling ill, see his doctor, and learn that he has pancreatic cancer and that there's no hope for any cure, as is usually the case with that kind of cancer and therefore the reason he choose it for the joke. The age he used was always 56 -- the age he turned yesterday. It just sounded right.
He spent the night in bed in the nice suburban house his late parents owned and he lives in now. He has hundreds of thousands of dollars to his name, thanks to those parents. His job sucks but he's at management level now and is secure, though he wouldn't mind if the job evaporated. Finally, he spent that night in bed with a woman he's been seeing for months now, the longest he's ever been with a woman, and he looks forward to her next visit.
The cancer is due any day now ...
This elderly woman will probably outlive the Complete and Total Loser.

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