Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Fundraiser

The Complete and Total Loser has a coworker who's mother is dying of lung cancer. (If you smoke all your life, you will have a premature and unpleasant death. The coworker doesn't seem to get this and still smokes, even in the house with his mother.) Recently he and family held a fundraiser to help cover her medical costs. Until she left due to illness, she'd worked in a bank and had good health insurance. The copays got her. 
The fundraiser was well attended but it wasn't the Loser's kind of event. It was as if a hundred people entered a room that could accommodate fifty and decided to shout as loud as they could for no reason. The Loser was hungry and got there late so he ate a piece of aging beef. The plastic forks were bad ones even by plastic fork standards. The Loser had to use it more as a shovel. The piece he got in his mouth was the largest piece of anything he'd ever eaten. At one point, he wondered if someone present knew the Heimlich Maneuver. Somehow, he got it down and twenty minutes later he felt like he'd had a vitamin B-12 shot.
To many, noise equals fun.

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