The scooter girls

My neighborhood is a fairly safe one for kids to play on. Yes, there are people who barrel down the road far faster than the twenty-five mile-per-hour signs permit—UPS and FedEx trucks are prime offenders—but most people who drive here live here and drive with care.
This summer I've seen girls riding small electric scooters. The scooter I like best is the one that looks like a Vespa. The girl on it often wears a dress and looks like a miniature Parisian. 

Scooter girls in my neighborhood take a break.

I'm of two minds about them. (An aside. Is the phrase "of two minds" one that only geezers use? Like "lickety split" or "the cat's pajamas"?) 
First, I thought, they should be riding bicycles, exercising their legs, lungs and hearts and getting familiar with the concept of energy-free travel.
Second, and this wins, they are outside of view of a parent or any other adult supervisor. That's rare these days and heartening to see. Is there a chance that a neighborhood pervert will say something to them or flash them? It's doubtful, but it'd be awful if it happened; they're much to young to have their trust in people marred. 
The only boys I see are the one who walks the family dogs with his mother, the one next door who rides a bicycle with his father, and a teenager on a skateboard. The biking boy is too young to go out on his own, so that's fine. I suspect the dog walker is doing so under duress. My guess when it comes to other boys in the area is that they're spending their summer days inside playing Minecraft or some game in which they go around shooting people in the head. They're in dark rooms, staring at screens, eating Cheetos, alone. Not heartening.

Old girls

Old pictures mean more if you know the people in them. The Complete and Total Loser's aunt is in this one. She turned 98 late last month. The youngest of the girls in this photo is in her 90s now. And that's if she's lucky.

Reading up

The Complete and Total Loser is immersed in books and videos designed to help him keep his resolution to have sex with a woman in 2014. 
He has tried to remake himself in the past and done some reading on it, but there was never as much material as there is now, and when he doesn't keep reading new things about how to talk to women he tends to run out of steam.
There are so many books and hours of videos on it now that he can't imagine that happening for quite a while this time.

The Loser may have met a woman by the time this chair is warm enough to sit on.

How to pick up girls

What does a handsome, interesting guy like you have to do to meet girls? 
The key to spending your Saturday nights deeply in love—or something like it—is using your imagination!
Suppose you see a hottie reading a book. Approach her and say, "I loved that book! It's one of my favorites!" whether you read it or not. 
Women are clever, though, and used to being lied to. But hey, what's she gonna do? Give you a multiple choice quiz on it? Far more likely, she'll say something like, "I'm glad you liked it. I'm going to keep reading now." Here's where your ability to use your imagination comes in, fella! Pretend she said, "Oh? What did you like about it?" 
Then say, "I liked the characters, the story ... heck, everything!" 
At this, she may say, "Yeah, uh, that's great," and return to her book. 
At this, pretend she said, "I agree! What else do you like to read?" 
Now's your chance to take things up a notch.
You: "I like books that make me more aware of both myself and people who aren't at all like me. Books that heighten my senses and help me develop empathy toward others."
Chicks dig the sensitive type! Women, however, game players that they are, often have clever responses ready. 
She might say something like, "Please leave me alone. If you don't, I'll report you to someone."
As before, you have to be ready to counter her mind games by using your imagination. Act as if instead of that she said, "Those are wonderful reasons to read. What books have you read that have done those things?" 
You're in, big guy. 
Say, "My list and reasons are too long to explain in a short time. Why don't I buy you a cup of coffee or dinner and we can discuss it at greater length?"
Women jump at the chance to dine with strangers and she'll invariably say yes. 
You've got your foot in the door. The rest is up to you.

Girls reading in public might as well be saying, "C'mon over, boys!"

City Girls

In his teens, the Complete and Total Loser visited the city just once or twice a year, if that, despite living just a short train ride or drive away. 

That was suburban life in the 1970s for the unadventurous types; cities were dangerous places where the likelihood of being a crime victim was high. It was far safer to stay trapped in the suburbs, with its lawns to mow, leaves to rake and rides to shopping centers and movie theaters to be had. 

When he did journey to the city, it was the girls that impressed the Loser most. 

Suburban girls were gentle and soft. They spoke in modulated tones and had no accents. Their clothes were expensive and staid. They dressed like younger versions of their mothers, who knew your parents or your parents' friends.

The city girls wore halter tops, smoked openly and used double negatives with thick accents, dropping their g's, swallowing vowels and swearing. Their breasts were firm and you could see their nipples. Their cheeks were scarred by acne but their arms and shoulders were smooth and muscled, powerful. They were daughters of men who worked with their hands and they'd fight other girls for dates with men who wore uniforms. 

They were so far from anything the Loser knew they may as well have been Ming Dynasty concubines for all their mystery.

A tough, city girl holds a baseball.