The Loser's Resolution

Yes, resolutions are idiotic, but the Complete and Total Loser has made one for 2014 nonetheless. It is to have sex. With a woman. Without paying for it, something he never has or could do anyway. 
The Loser is reading ebooks and other things available on the Net constantly and is learning much that would have definitely helped him years ago and may help him now. The key is to practice, see what works for you, what doesn't. The problem, for the Loser, is where to get that practice. 

The Loser may be more than one step behind in the chase to get a woman to have sex with him, but his attitude is still positive.

Having Sex

The Complete and Total Loser last had intercourse in October of 1997. He's had two close instances in the nearly fifteen years since, but both were unconsummated and ended with hurt feelings (theirs) and guilt (his). He's in no hurry to pursue this again, though vestigial parts of him yearn to. 

When you're not sexual you can't grasp that others are. The Loser is confronted with evidence everywhere that proves the obvious; most people have sex regularly. Even those who don't have sex regularly manage to find a partner once or twice a few times a year, including bald men his age. 

Even if he discounted the evidence of this he sees and hears from people he knows, the Loser has a primary source in the couples he's heard having sex through his apartment walls. Even though it was natural and easy to have the sex he had those years ago, he can't believe that people may be having sex just yards from where he is at any time of any day. 

A couple waits to cross a light. The Loser suspects that sometimes this couple has sex.