The gathering

The Complete and Total Loser has an affinity for the world's nut cases because they, like the Loser, are missing a cog that makes the brain run smoothly. It's different in the Loser's case, however. In his case, he simply doesn't get it, whatever "it" is. In theirs, they don't get it, but they've replaced their gap with other beliefs. Conspiracies, UFOs, the supernatural, religion; things like that.
The Loser pictures them getting together with groups of their fellow guys (and the very occasional woman) who have different beliefs but stemming from the same source. A convention of groups who think the moon landing was faked, that fluoride in water is controlling us all, that 9/11 was an "inside job," that there are alien bodies and a vessel at Area 51, that Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim, that the Holocaust never happened, that contrails are poisoning us, or that a virtual platoon of people shot JFK could meet in a large, open forum.

There's more going on here than at first appears. There has to be.

It'd be interesting to see. They'd all be standing there in little groups, all looking suspiciously at the other groups, only eating snacks that they brought there themselves because, hey, better safe than sorry, right?
Then they'd all get in their old cars (they're rarely successful enough to buy new) and hit the brakes a few times before hitting the road to make sure they haven't been tampered with. They'd drive home to their small, cramped, cluttered apartments where they live alone, like the Loser does.

Old snow globe

The Complete and Total Loser bought this snow globe in 1973 while in New York City with a friend. The twin towers of the World Trade Center were completed in April of that year and, as everyone knows, destroyed in an attack by Saudi Arabian terrorists on this date in 2001.
In this forty-year-old snow globe, they remain standing.

The Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City.

Conspiracy Kids

Two of the young uns at work are conspiracy believers. They know things the rest of us don't about 9/11, the J.F.K. assassination, U.F.O.s ... 
The Complete and Total Loser, over twice there age, finds this cute. They are unshakeable in their beliefs. They admit it's fun to believe what they do and that their knowledge is more belief than knowledge yet they see no contradiction in this. The Loser politely notes things like why is it that despite the existence of hundreds of millions of cameras and the taking of billions of more photos and videos each year reports of U.F.O.s are lower than they were two decades ago? They mumble something about notes and books they have that offer proof, which is based on eyewitnesses, i.e., not proof at all. 
The ultimate thing the Loser says to them is this: "When I was your age," he says, "I believed just what you do now."
The Loser says this and he can see the sound travel to them. It swirls through the air, vibrating molecules the way sound does. It reaches their eardrums and goes in them and then bounces out, unheard. 

My Favorite 9/11 Joke

Hundreds have asked The Complete and Total Loser for his favorite joke about September 11, 2001. 
He doesn't have one. Even though he knew no one killed or even injured in the attacks, despite his living just two hours from New York City, even though his sense of humor often leans toward the shocking, even though most of his few friends would forgive such a joke, and even though he finds most of the measures and opinions that have come up since worthy of derision, the Loser can't find anything comic in the day and he never will.
P.S.: Have you noticed that the moronic conspiracy buffs are quieter than usual this year? Perhaps they realize that their page has turned ...

A dog practices sniffing for bomb material at a big-city train station. Looking for bombs. At a train station.