Saturday, November 7, 2015

Self checkout

woman and man shopping at grocery store self checkout
A man and a woman tally their purchases at a supermarket.
The Complete and Total Loser has mixed feelings about self checkout lines.

The bad:
  • They rob him of an opportunity to interact with another person. (The Loser is unemployed and friendless, and he goes days at a time without speaking to a soul.) Aren't there enough things already that diminish or obviate human contact? 
  • They allow one person do the work of four, thus putting people out of work
  • They seldom work properly. The Loser brings his own bag to supermarkets and touches the part of the screen that says "I'm using my own bag" when prompted, but it freezes anyway, requiring the help of the one person in charge of the four to six stations.
The good:
  • The Loser lives in a haze of self-conscious guilt, certain that others are judging him and rightly deeming him a loser. Self checkout allows him to purchase embarrassing items a man his age shouldn't be buying, like candy and powdered donuts, both which he buys hoping the sweetness will counter the sour loneliness of his meaningless life for a few moments.
  • They are for express customers and therefore, the lines are shorter. The Loser can get his pathetic, single serving items relatively quickly.

1 comment:

  1. Gadzooks, old boy, how pathetic a thing it is that you consider pleasantries with a cashier a meaningful human encounter! You've really made a mess of your life then, haven't you!

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