Free food

A Japanese beetle scent trap.

The Complete and Total Loser has been trapping Japanese beetles with a scent trap, putting the bag they fall into in the freezer, and then feeding them to the three koi in the tiny, man-made pond in his back yard. 

The Loser feels a little evil putting the bag full of living organisms in the freezer. Think about that. There are red-blooded furry mammals that cry when distressed, show affection, play, suckle their young, have complex social orders, and live for decades that the Loser eats as a snack, yet gently killing these invasive insects that lack a discernible brain for a useful purpose, gives him pause.