Yesterday, the Complete and Total Loser's sister-in-law dropped off the dog he'll take care of for three weeks next month so it could get a preview of where she'll be staying. The Loser knew modern pet owners coddle their pets—he's read that a large percentage celebrate their dog's and cat's birthdays—but he didn't think his sister-in-law was one of them.
The dog arrived at noon and stayed until nearly five. During those hours she gave the Loser new respect for his attention span, which dwarfs the dog's. Clacking toenails on hard surfaces as she sniffed corners and somehow found things to eat on what the Loser had thought was a clean floor. Whether they were edible or not, the Loser couldn't say.
He took the dog, a four-year-old female corgi, outside hourly. She urinated many times and crapped three times, though she doesn't look overfed and the stools appeared normal. She was eager to approach other dogs as they walked by on leashes. Two attractive women said hello to the Loser as their dogs eyed each other.
When inside, the dog would soon forget that she had just been outside and would whine a little. Passing cars excited her and she hoped they marked the return of her mistress. When that became true, she became frantic with joy. Corgis don't look like the kind of dog that can jump up and down, but this one could.
Three weeks of this?