How not to be pathetic

The Complete and Total Loser is all right with being a complete and total loser. What he wouldn't be all right with is being a pathetic complete and total loser. 
Many things can make a person pathetic. A particular one the Loser is thinking about today, May 19, is finding an excuse to tell just about anyone that it's your birthday. You know that people will automatically say, "Happy birthday!" to you and smile. That's why you did it. Pathetic. 
Today is the Loser's birthday, by the way. He told no one at work or elsewhere. 

When the Loser sees couples on his train platform he feels wistful and sad. Pathetic.