Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Loser Had a Second Date

Today, talking to a friend at work, the Complete and Total Loser defined his female ideal. 
"She's someone," he said, "who doesn't mind being seen in public with me." 
He was half kidding. Half.
He does have a fairly low bar when it comes to judging women, though. 
  • Does she tower over him?
  • Can she, if a native speaker, speak proper English?
  • Would she crush him if she accidentally sat on him? 
  • Is she an active criminal? 
  • Could she ever love him?
The Loser had a second date with the woman he had a first date with last week. He chose a restaurant that was too noisy, but he enjoyed his time with her anyway and they had a nice embrace after he saw her to her door. 
His designs are selfish, and no, he's not talking about that four-second splurt men get when having sex. He's talking about being with someone who brings out the best in him and who he brings a good side out of. 
That's a tough thing to determine and not something the two can just talk about to see if it's happening. But the Loser thinks this woman may be someone who fits this, and he's eager to spend more time with her to see if it happens. 
And he realizes that even if it doesn't work out, he'll have had practice in presenting himself to women, practice most people have by the time they're 20, but practice he lacks. 
A fire hydrant on a city street appears ruined, yet it still works.

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