Sunday, May 6, 2012

Children's Letters to the Loser #9

Dear Complete and Total Loser,
My question is about sex. I am 12, and a girl. My classmates at school brag about how they're having sex, but I have no interest in it at all. Is there something wrong with me? I don't want to ask my parents about this. 

Dear Abigail,
No, there's nothing wrong with you. Human life is long and there's a wide time divergence in when people reach certain milestones, both physically and mentally. Soon enough, thoughts of sex will enter your thoughts and keep you awake far past your bedtime. An old man was once asked how he felt about losing his interest in sex, which had come with age. His answer was, "Most gladly have I escaped the thing of which you speak; I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master." The man was Socrates and he said that over 2,400 years ago! Enjoy the calmness that comes with these years, Abigail. And if you happen to be one of those people who never gets obsessed with sex, count yourself as lucky.
Your friend,
The Complete and Total Loser

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