Thousands of people, clogging up vital routes, making it hard for The Complete and Total Loser to bicycle to work. Helicopters overhead, loudspeakers with gabby DJs making dumb jokes, bucket-list runners. Why the hell are they held in cities? They should go out where the air is clean and the roads open.
As the Loser crossed the road a woman said, "Why can't you go around that way?" The Loser is usually very polite and accommodating, but in this case he said to the woman, "Because I want to go this way. If you don't like it, blow it out your ass." Honestly, he never talks that way.The Loser wonders what Phileidippides would have said if he'd been told that one day his fatal run would be done by flat-chested women with great legs who do it for fun and later go shopping. Kind of a stupid thing to wonder, actually, but he is a Complete and Total Loser.
|Marathoners screw up even pedestrian and bicycle traffic as they compete in an annual race.|