How to Judge Political Candidates

The Complete and Total Loser was a journalist once. Not a good one. He did fine at the level of a local weekly suburban paper but failed during his year in the big leagues, where it became clear he would never rise beyond the editorial assistant level. He's a store clerk now.

Anyway, The Loser finds it interesting how an entire branch of journalists are fascinated by political campaigns. They actually call it a "horse race," only pretending to use the phrase as a slam. The two things the follow, beyond candidates' actual words and actions, are the polls and campaign financing. Which leads to a simple Loser Rule: 

The more money a candidate raises, the more owned they are and the less likely you should be to vote for them.