Beauty

This photo of a spider depresses the Complete and Total Loser. 

Look at it. It's hideous. Nubby little hairs, beady eyes, badly proportioned limbs and body. And yet the Loser knows that it's going to get laid within a month, while the Loser hasn't had sex for nearly a decade and a half. Even the fact that whatever it has sex with is probably going to be another spider doesn't make the Loser feel any better about this.