I didn’t murder O.J.’s wife
Or hurt her good friend Ron.
I didn’t take J.F.K.’s life,
Nor his son’s, John-John.
I’ve never nailed an intern
Or killed a London whore.
Chicago I did not burn,
I hid no votes for Gore.
I’ve not lied about W.M.D.s
Or caused famine in a nation.
I’ve never charged false fees
When I’m away on my vacation.
I’ve never done a caper
By picking a building’s locks.
And I always take one paper
From the newspaper honor box.
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