The Complete and Total Loser is taking a class. It meets downtown, a ten-minute bike ride from his filthy, cluttered apartment. It's in web writing.
The Loser is the oldest in the class, which has surprisingly few students: Four. The teacher knows his stuff and the others in the class seem bright and have specific goals.
Not the Loser! He can't imagine anything beyond rewriting prose he finds slightly more dreadful than his own.
He shopped today. He bought a new pair of sunglasses, having stupidly broken the right arm of a perfectly good pair last month by pulling them down while wearing a tight hat to better see cheap books through a widow. That's what he gets for being too lazy to take them off. He also bought an exercise wheel in the hopes of tightening his aging, sagging abdominal muscles.