Hottest Summer

It's been so far and will likely remain the hottest summer ever on record in the Complete and Total Loser's East Coast city.

The Loser has no air conditioner, though he could easily afford one and the electric bill that would follow. Yet he stubbornly refuses to make the purchase, opting instead for one large fan in the window and a small, noisy one he puts on the edge of his desk so it blows directly on him as he sleeps, unsheeted, on his twin mattress during the summer's short, sultry nights.

This lack gives him opportunities to boast in his self righteous, loser way. "I live in a third floor apartment of a three-story rowhouse," he tells anyone who will listen. "It get's like an attic in there." He even wrests environmental credit out of not having an air conditioner, saying that getting one adds to the problem, with its increase in burning fossil fuels.

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." He has actually said that, the Loser.

He continues to exercise in the heat. His bicycle rides. He gets back to his shoebox apartment, showers, and still drips sweat on the cheap plastic kitchen floor as he prepares his simple breakfast or dinner. Then he has a headache for the rest of the day or night. He deserves that.

The sign says STOP but they're young and in love, so forget it.