Differences

The Complete and Total Loser has been thinking about the difference between him and the man in Pittsburgh who shot and killed three women in an aerobics class, then turning the gun on himself.
They are:
1. He was better looking, better hair, taller
2. He had a better job
3. He had a house
4. He had more luck with women
5. He was younger
Depressing, realizing this. The crucial difference, as far as public safety is concerned, is that the Loser dislikes guns and has none. Also, he grew out of taking his own misfortunes out on others decades ago.