Sunday, February 8, 2009

What the Hell Is This?

When the Complete and Total Loser sees things on streets and sidewalks he, magpielike, picks them up and keeps them. He horrified a female friend once by retrieving a rollerball pen from a sidewalk.
His apartment is cluttered and dingy and many square inches of counter and table space as well as various drawers are home to items scavenged over the years. In the 1990s he found a surprising number of gold items that are now in a little bag in a kitchen drawer. He also likes heavy pieces of iron and steel. Tow truck hooks. Large bolts.
The object in the photograph falls under the Loser's curiosity pick ups. He cannot imagine what its use could possibly be. It lay across the street from his local police station where police officers often park their cruisers but it's not sharp enough to be a weapon -- it would barely puncture a tire, and its points were blunted by design, not use.
When you are a Complete and Total Loser and you have no friends, no spouse, no children, an unstimulating job and your mind is too dim to engage in interesting pastimes, you spend hours wondering about things no one else cares about.

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