Over a week

It's been over a week now that the Complete and Total Loser has had any contact with the woman who dumped him. At times he wonders if the whole thing ever happened. He wonders if she ever thinks of him now. Surely she doesn't as often as she did just after the dumping. It's all very strange to the Loser.

Ten things men shouldn't do after 30

This list of things men shouldn't do after 30 is on askmen.com. The Complete and Total Loser is editing it as askmen, knowing who their advertisers are, made it wimpy with modifiers like "constantly" on things like the one about playing video games. (The whole article's here.) The Loser also has problems with it, as you'll see below.

1. Eat fast food
2. Drive recklessly
3. Play video games
4. Live in a dorm-style room
5. Get a tattoo
6. Binge drink
7. Live paycheck to paycheck
8. Work at a dead-end job
9. Be socially and/or politically clueless
10. Dress like a slob

Number ten is where the problem is. In the paragraph accompanying it, they say, "Even more important than your job or your personality is how you dress." Really? You could save hundreds of lives all day but whether or not your belt matches your shoes matters more than that?
The Loser finds much missing from this list, like smoking, thinking farting is funny, treating women like shit, having a limp handshake, disturbing neighbors with noise, driving a gas-guzzling car, mastering basic grammar and punctuation, and not offering your seat on a bus or train to those who need it more than you.

Some fashion types would say don't use messenger bags after 30 (which this man clearly isn't), but the Loser says if it's practical (he's 56 and bikes for transportation), why wouldn't you?