Rules for Thanksgiving

Two rules for Thanksgiving:

Tommy Orange, author of There There.

1. Do not call it "Turkey day" or say "gobble gobble" in any context. It is the opposite of funny, unless you're talking to someone under the age of seven.
2. Do not engage in political discussions at the table or at any time during the gathering. If you must, read this article before you do so you can avoid saying things that are demonstrably false: NYTimes. Much better, though, would be reading this article: NYTimesII. Neither of these are lefty articles. Or righty.
In my case, I had an argument with one brother on Sunday. Not that I'd planned on spending the day with him and his family. The second brother has invited me but I'd be the only one at his table with the political and social opinions that I have and I'm not good company these days anyway, so I've declined, saying I "have other plans." My best Thanksgivings are the ones I've spent alone, and this will be one of them. 
A factual paragraph from the prologue of Tommy Orange's excellent 2018 novel, There There:

In 1621, colonists invited Massasoit, the chief of the Wampanoags, to a feast after a recent land deal. Massasoit came with ninety of his men. That meal is why we still eat a meal together in November. Celebrate it as a nation. But that one wasn't a thanksgiving meal. It was a land-deal meal. Two years later there was another, similar meal meant to symbolize eternal friendship. Two hundred Indians dropped dead that night from an unknown poison.