5,000 Views!

The Complete and Total Loser's phenomenally successful blog, which you're reading at this very moment, has had 5,000 views as of today. In fact, it's not only crossed that threshold, it's shattered it: Current number: 5,004! That means that this blog, which has only existed for for 1,106 days and has 298 posts, including this one, has had an average of 4.524 people a day viewing it. That's less than a blog would get by random chance, the Loser guesses. If every visitor to this blog gave the Loser just one dollar, he'd be living large!
Thank you all, very much!
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Meanwhile a huge storm named Sandy is headed for the Loser's region. He has his stuff ready and is wise enough not to watch TV, which keeps his anxiety level at a minimum.

Radio, check. Cell phone, check. Crankable flashlight, check. The Loser is ready.