Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Getting ready

The Complete and Total Loser is getting ready for a total knee replacement, which will happen the 24th of this month (April, 2017). He is not looking forward to it, even though his knee has hurt for years now. 
woman bather using shower chair
A woman using a shower chair.

The Loser is even trying to find excuses to cancel it, like his sore hip, which will need replacing in a few years. He knows he'll go through with it and put up with the intense pain and probably not be as good at the rehabilitation part of it as he should be because he has no one in his life who loves him and will make him stay motivated. And he also knows that before he's at all recovered and back in shape something else will come up, like prostate cancer, and he'll probably be killed by it before he's even had a chance to enjoy the painful surgery's benefits.
Meanwhile, he has bought a shower chair. It cost $55, a lot for a cheap plastic device, but the Loser knows he'll probably need it again before long.

1 comment:

  1. As time and your various ailments progress, you may need more stuff like this shower chair and they are expensive IMHO for what they are (plastic!). Since you are still mostly OK and mobile, and financially secure and don't have to go into work daily....may I suggest you do what I have done (for myself, and family and friends in bad straits like yours) and that is LOOK FOR THE STUFF IN ADVANCE ... used. Every Goodwill, Salvation Army, thrift store, church rummage sale, estate sale has wheelchairs, walkers, bath chairs, toilet seat lifts, safety grab bars, canes, "grabbers" (those pincher devices that let you pick things off the floor or a high shelf), potty chairs and every other thing you can imagine a sick person needing. Many times these things are new or like new, and can be 80% cheaper. I've actually gotten things from the TRASH -- including a virtually brand new wheelchair I was able to give to a handicapped friend. Most trash picks I donate to charities.

    You are in for a substantial convalescence no matter how things go for you, so it is good to PLAN IN ADVANCE, and not just food & toilet paper -- your house or apartment needs to be retrofitted, so you are safe and can stay there as long as possible vs. a nursing home. (I hope I do not need to tell you that a nursing home for a 59 year old man is hellish, and you don't want to go if you don't have to do so!) If you need a wheelchair, you may need a ramp into your house. If you live in an apartment without an elevator -- this might be the time to move! Your bathroom should be set up with grab bars, non slip mats in and outside the tub and a seat adjuster that raises the toilet seat, so you don't have to bend your knee so much to get up and down.

    I want to add that you talk about losing your leg -- I pray it does not come to that for you -- but if it does, I don't think you will be on crutches but in a wheelchair, so you need to think about that -- test some out -- do you want an electric one or push type -- or even a scooter. A scooter can give you tremendous mobility vs. any type of wheelchair, but it is bigger and bulkier.

    You'll also need some home health aide assistance, at least for a while, after any major surgery if you live alone. Arrange for it NOW, when you are not in pain and have the presence of mind to interview suitable candidates. (And to put away securely any valuables, drugs, money, etc. so maybe you need a safe? or safe deposit box at the bank?)

    If you can't cook for yourself, you might want to arrange for Meals on Wheels, and there are several options for that. (Not all home health aides can cook, and some are terrible cooks.)

    I know it is really tough to be SINGLE and have to arrange all this -- that's one of the benefits of being married, someone always on call -- but even married folks can end up alone in old age, widowed or divorced. Even people with adult children can end up without help. So be proactive!