Wednesday, December 3, 2014

I Saved My Friend from Bill Cosby

The title of this post is the same as the title of a Daily Beast article published today and written by Lloyd Grove. It's about how Tony Hogue saved a friend from being sexually abused by Bill Cosby in 1984.
The Complete and Total Loser also saved a friend from being abused by Bill Cosby. 
Here's how he did it:
  1. Instead of pursuing work in the glamorous, high-paying world of show business after graduating from college with the lowest GPA allowed by law, the Loser got a job in a liquor factory through a temp agency in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in the early 1980s. 
  2. The Loser futzed around over the years in similar low-paying jobs until in the 90s, when he put himself through graduate school in journalism.
  3. Five years later, after making a living but going no place in that field, the Loser quit his job at a wire service where he was mocked and disliked. He got a job in retail.
  4. After a dozen years of being treated poorly by his customers and superiors, the Loser lost that job due to "restructuring." 
  5. The Loser, now well into middle age and without any marketable skills, is living on unemployment compensation. He wants to start his own business, but whether or not he has the self discipline to do so remains to be verified. So far, it doesn't look good, and the Loser may soon be operating a cash register near you.
  6. The Loser has never had attractive friends, precluding having any who would have access to Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby
Comedian and alleged rapist, Bill Cosby.

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