The Complete and Total Loser and his siblings grew up with more pets than they can now remember. Here are three of the favorite cats, which all lived with the Loser at the same time:
EDBD: Female calico. Lived to be 18. Died in 1986 while the Loser was living in Asia. He'd said goodbye to her before leaving. When the Loser's brother was a sophomore in college, in 1973, he rented a huge moving van and loaded it with his and several others' furniture to drive it eight hours to the campus, making a nice profit. EDBD snuck into the truck to explore and went with them. She was pregnant at the time. She lived on the campus in a noisy frat house until October 18, when a friend returned her. Once in the house, she went to the spot under the stairs where she'd had kittens before, and gave birth to a litter of six that night. Question one: How did she know when and if she was returning? Question two: How did she control her labor?
Percy: Male Persian. When the Loser and his mother went to choose Percy as a kitten, the woman who gave him to them said she'd given him that name, which was short for "personality" because, she said, he was "chock full of it." Usually, the Loser and his family liked to give their own names to pets, but it fit Percy so well they kept it. He was one of those animals that just seemed to get it. Once, the Loser was lying on his parents' bed fiddling with a blow dryer while Percy lay on his chest. He turned the blow dryer on, Percy bolted across the Loser's face, and the Loser still has a scar near his philtrum. Percy was found dead in the basement a few years later, at age four. The Loser never found out what killed him.
Harvey: Male Siamese. Harvey was named after the play, which was put on by the Loser's middle-school class around the time they got him. He lived to be twenty-one years old. Lazy, grouchy, but a good cat. Gentle, affectionate. The Loser's mother backed over him when he was nineteen, fracturing his pelvis into several pieces, yet he made a complete recovery.