The Complete and Total Loser's high PSA level (5) means the disease will kill him. (And please, none of that "Well with that attitude of course it will!" bullshit -- unspeakable optimistic people get killed by lesser cancers all the time, and nattering nabobs of negativism conquer virulent cancers without trying as often.)
Although his death may be a few years from now, the Loser is thinking of how he'd list his regrets. His first and most overwhelming of these is never having a successful relationship with a woman. From it, much else could have flowed. Maybe even a career he liked and that gave his life meaning. He'll never know.
In his dark times, he looks at couples and wonders how they make it look so easy. Standing casually, chatting, no anxiety. The Loser studies these couples, baffled.