Monday, April 1, 2013

The Fix Up Followup

As the minus seven regular readers of The Complete and Total Loser read last week, the Loser was invited to dine with a couple he knows who also invited a woman the same night. The Loser wondered—and feared—that it was an attempt by his friends to pair him with someone so that he might know a tiny bit of the happiness that people in committed relationships are sometimes said to have and maybe even have someone get close enough to the Loser that she'd be there to find his dead body in the not too distant future before it rotted enough to annoy neighbors with its stench.
It was not, he deduced early in the evening, a fix up. While the woman was single, she was far too young for the Loser and gave off no signals that she was there for anything but a meal with friends. 
This made the Loser sigh. If you'd heard the sigh, you would be unable to distinguish it from a sigh of relief or sadness.

man with bad teeth
This is what the Loser thinks he looks like.

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