How to Walk on a Roof

Don't walk on a roof unless you're young. 
The Complete and Total Loser is using his vacation time to get things done around his late parents' house, where he lives (his brothers are starting to talk). Yesterday, it was cleaning gutters and other roof-based things.
When he was a kid, the Loser ran on roofs like a monkey, never a slip. Now in his fifties, his balance isn't what it was and he's top heavy. 
They say most accidents happen around the house. They say dumb things and this is one of them: Most of the time people spend is around the house. It's like when they say most car accidents occur within 25 miles of people's homes. Of course, that's where nearly all of most people's driving is done.
But falls are the major household accident. The Loser must be careful. The house is not equipped for the handicapped. It's barely equipped for losers.