- Say "please" and "thank you." Last winter, the Loser was on the train and a young guy in the seat next to him got up to disembark. He left his gloves, good ones, behind. "Hey!" the Loser said, "you're gloves!" The man turned and retrieved them and left, without a word. Sure, the two will never see each other again (or will they?) and the effort the Loser put into this was minimal. Still, a second of eye contact and even a grunted "Thanks" is what an adult would do.
- Don't hit people. Unless it's in self defense. Other than that, use words. If they fail to persuade, your opponent is either an recalcitrant moron or you may be wrong.
- Learn to admit when you're wrong. This is hard. The Loser is old and he can do it, but sometimes he's not sincere. The times he's not sincere, however, are the best times; he's put the feelings of others over his ego. Not easy, believe me.
- Stick to your guns. If it's for a greater good and others will suffer if you don't, follow through with what you believe whether it benefits you or not.
- Do things yourself. Did someone at work say something that offended you? Time to go to HR, right? Wrong. Real adults leave administrators out of the loop until they're the last recourse and handle workplace problems themselves. Noisy neighbor? Same thing. Talk to the neighbor first, then the police, if the problem persists.
- Go easy on money and things. Hoards of adults place great value on both. Learn how to recognize enough, and when you have enough, maintain.
|"The Engraver," 1872, Francois Bonvin, French, 1817 - 1887.|