Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Loser Looks at Naked Pictures

Thank goodness the Complete and Total Loser works on weekends or he'd have been tempted to watch the annual ride of naked bike riders in his city and, worse, take pictures of them like this guy did. (You have to have a flickr account to see all of them.) Of course, many are able to do such things and no one thinks twice about it, but the Loser, being a Loser, is the type who is seen as "creepy" (the most common word others use) when saying things he finds normal, like, "I like your shoes, Meghan." 
The naked bike ride organizers posted rules about photography but they were ignored by all. Really, if you're going to paint yourself, often with a printed message, and bicycle nude through a major city on a Saturday, do you really expect people not to pay attention? Drawing attention to yourself is the whole idea, isn't it? And these days, paying attention means whipping out your camera phone and taking pictures. 
The Loser thinks he looks like this man, though he's actually much thinner.
Observations from the photos the Loser saw:
  • There are some awful bikes on the road
  • Many of the riders should ride more often than once a day. They should also eat less
  • The event attracts many gays
  • People who participate in such events are against fracking
  • If a girl's good looking and using a hula-hoop, it doesn't matter if she can use it well
  • Men often trim their pubic hair these days
  • Young bodies, good; old bodies, bad
  • Some think public nudity is best accompanied by Mardis Gras beads
  • For a city in which over half the population is black, there were few blacks riding
  • There weren't many Asians, either
  • One naked man and you hide the kids and arrest him. A few hundred makes it all right. Why?
  • You shouldn't be able to sit on a bike seat naked, but somehow people do
  • After a certain amount of body paint, you're not really nude anymore

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