The Facts of the Loser's Existence

It's the Complete and Total Loser's day off and he spent some of it trimming hedges at his late parents' house, where he's been living since their deaths last fall, after which he moved to the suburbs from his worn studio apartment in the city. 

The Loser, trimming hedges with an electric hedge trimmer. A middle-aged white guy in a short-sleeved shirt and hat to ward the sun's rays from his mottled bald scalp. Thirty pounds overweight, sweat drips into his eyes. He wonders if the college student across the street is looking out her window and thinking, "I hope Mr. Loser doesn't have a heart attack." 

Spotting a small, furry animal is often the highlight of the 

Loser's Day

He rakes up the trimmings and dumps them behind a fence where he puts all such debris, thinking it will somehow turn into nurturing compost. 

Maybe he'll have a beer with dinner. Then he'll watch some television or look at naked pictures on the internet. He'll mean to be in bed at 9:30 reading but he knows he won't do so until eleven. He'll think about jerking off before sleep, but will probably decide it isn't worth the effort. That's what he usually does these days. These months.