As unworthy of attention and love as he is, the Complete and Total Loser hasn't lost his instinctive want for attention so, as sad a thing as this is, he checks his blog statistics every day or two to see whether anyone's looked at it.
Yesterday, eight people did. The only statistic this site seems to indicate is that someone, possibly from India, viewed a page that had the word "sex" in the title.
Still. This shatters The Loser's record by 600 percent.
In the 874 days since he began this blog, eagerly posting daily, waiting for feedback, advice or at least commiseration, just 348 people have viewed The Loser's pages. And viewed doesn't mean read, of course. (Not that he expects anyone to; there is nothing of value here.)
The Loser is flummoxed by this new uptick. His only explanation is a scenario The Loser dimly remembers from "On the Beach," the 1957 post-nuclear apocalypse novel The Loser knows from the 1959 Stanley Kramer film, in which an overturned soda bottle is pulled by a window shade loose in the wind on and off a telegraph key, sending a random signal from Seattle, bringing a submarine crew there in search of survivors.Somewhere a cat on a keyboard hit the right succession of keys to access The Loser's posts.
If only the cat would comment ...