Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Loser is Guilty

stink bug screen window
Wouldn't it be great if you could turn emotions on and off? The Complete and Total Loser's first choice would be guilt, for it is the recollection of guilt, unlike sadness or anger, that makes you feel it with the same thigh-pounding sting you felt just after your transgression even years later. Its nearest equivalent in that sense would be embarrassment.
The Loser, being ever a Loser, has much guilt, often over small things his victims have surely forgotten by now. Ripping up the sole print of his baby picture in 1971. A broken lunch date with a friend in China in 1985. There are times the Loser wishes everyone he's ever known vanished. Of course, the bereft loved ones they'd leave behind would only compound his agony.
And lacking any degree of empathetic foresight, he'd continue to offend.
Even small things wake him at night. Take this stink bug pictured above. Tiresome, non-native American pests, the Loser finds a few a day for days in a row, crawling slowly about his apartment, buzzing his small reading light at night. They're harmless, no threat to people or crops. They just crawl around, often stopping and calmly dying where they stand.
Not the one here. Oh no. The Loser put it outside on a fairly warm day. In other seasons that gives the creatures more than a sporting chance. But on this day, the forecast was for bitter cold that night, and the Loser knew it.

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