The Loser has fallen before. Always the same way: left foot goes shooting out from under him, body goes down on bum right leg, which bends and twists ways it shouldn't. Much soft tissue damage followed by swearing, then swelling. For some days the Loser will walk like an amputee with a new prosthesis.
Ah, pain. The Loser has met women who enjoy being spanked. Not by him, of course; he is a loser with women as he is in all aspects of life. The desired puzzled him at first. Then once, while alone (this was years ago), he spanked his own buttock cheek. It felt refreshing. Invigorating. It's not something he pursued in any way, but if he ever did become half of a couple and she wanted to be spanked, he'd understand.
The kind of pain he feels at the moment is not that kind. It's a sharp ache, not a bright slap. The Loser has had worse pain. At 12, he had an operation which surgically broke large leg bones ten times to slow the growth of his "good" leg. This was in the late 1960s and doctors feared getting kids hooked on painkillers, so they were stingy with relief. The Loser howled in pain off and on for two weeks, while blood seeped through his thick body cast.
Odd, how you can think when in some kinds of pain but not others. If the pain the Loser feels now were in his head, he'd be writing this. If it were in his stomach, he'd be curled into a ball, whimpering.