Despite his deformity, the Complete and Total Loser has had sex with five women. None of these relationships lasted longer than a few weeks and the last one was a dozen years ago, but that wasn't because the sex was bad.
The Loser found sex is hard to get but easy to do. He likes women. They're soft and have pleasing voices, usually. It stuns him when one of them lets him help her disrobe. When things progress and he feels between their legs and finds moisture he is as happy as he is astonished. It's as if he's rubbed a stone and it's produced water.
This will probably never happen again. He's poor now, with no prospects. Time has not been kind to him. Complexion splotchy, though he avoided sunlight from his teens on, sagging muscles at 50.
This is all right. His desire has waned. There's the surge when he spots a target, then the quick realization of how impossible it would be for him to get her (he is choosy, of all things).
He last tried a year ago. He was a disaster in bed and never successfully completed the act. This wounded her immeasurably, but she's since realized that it was indeed him and not her. The two remain friends. Sometimes, when he emails her, she answers.