Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It Snowed on the Loser

The Complete and Total Loser approves of snow for a time. He likes the way it covers ugliness, transforms landscapes, reflects light in new ways, muffles sound.
storm drainBut as the Loser never reached the level of success most his age reached years ago he lives in his city in humble circumstances, where snow soon becomes a nuisance, making biking or walking through it in both its thawed and slushy states treacherous on his aging, deformed limbs. Clumsy, top heavy and unbalanced, when he slips and falls he falls hard. During an ice storm some years ago, he fractured a joint, requiring a splint and crutches for six long weeks. The soft tissue damage caused such excruciating pain he laughed in disbelief.
At various times during the Loser's life, snow has meant different things. Days free from school, temporary employment, enforced time with family despite his fantasies of enforced time with pretty girls.
Despite the difficulties it causes him now and is bound to cause him in the future, the Loser has no plans to ever move to a warmer climate. Snow will always speak to the boy in him, the boy who would go on long walks in heavy snow across fields into sparse woods toward places he'd never been until his feet were wet and cold. Head down, the white, glittering surface were all he could see, the sound of the crunch under his feet all he could hear. Each step was a newly done thing requiring concentration beyond that needed for other activities. The walks soothed him and are still an important memory.

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