Non-stop animal invasion

The Complete and Total Loser has now trapped four raccoons since summer. To some of those living in the countryside, that's a piddling number, but the Loser lives in an East Coast suburb where there are so many cars it's amazing there are any non-flying animals left at all. 
He trapped this one overnight on a Friday, meaning he released it on a Saturday morning. That's not easy, because anyplace suitable for raccoon release and car access is also coveted by runners and walkers and their dogs. Usually, the Loser doesn't set the trap on weekends for this reason but he hadn't baited it for days and simply didn't bother. 
The release was a suspenseful one, with a 30-second window, if that.
The raccoon looks mean but was very sweet, actually. A young one, it was just mushing its face against the cage, the way a kid watching TV might against a sofa arm.

The Loser's latest catch now lives miles away.

Second capture

Raccoons are different, though it's not like the Complete and Total Loser has much experience with wild animals. The one he caught earlier this morning and released in a park far away hours later didn't react the way the Loser would if he were a captured animal. 
For all the raccoon knew, it was going to be killed in some horrible way. If it caught a frog, for example, it may bite off a hind leg first. Then an arm. Meanwhile the frog's alive to see this. The Loser doesn't approve of eating meat and eats little of it himself, but at least when most humans kill animals for food they try to make its death quick of not entirely painless.
If the Loser were in this trap, he'd snarl and spit at his captor. This raccoon, however, like its friend captured late last week, just looked sad. 
The Loser let it go in the same spot as the first in the hopes that the two will find each other and live out their raccoon lives in a peaceful wilderness.

A raccoon in a Havahart trap.

Swirls

There are times when events seem to happen back-to-back with greater speed than chance would predict. At those times, many try to assign order. Most look to the paranormal. Others, conspiracies that verge on paranoia. 
The Complete and Total Loser takes the events in and sees them all as random happenings in a large universe. 
Last night, while watching an old British comedy (The Good Life) he hadn't seen since the early '80s, he heard a forgotten line that was a favorite of a woman the Loser was close to: "Don't trip over the mountains. Don't trip over the mountains". He hadn't thought of that line since she talked about it in the late 80s. It surprised him to remember it all these years later. The woman died in '02.

Mr. Miller

This morning, the Loser found that his trap finally worked and he caught the very smart raccoon that's been living in his attic. He released it in a nice place, but still feels a little bad about it. The animal looked depressed and embarrassed. When he opened the trap's door, it ran faster than the Loser thought a raccoon could run.
Reading the paper when he got home, he found the obituary of a favorite high school English teacher. If you've ever read a decent sentence by the Loser, thank Mr. Miller.