Buy lottery tickets

A man buys lottery tickets from a machine in a Pennsylvania convenience store.

Buy lottery tickets. Not so many that you go broke, but buy them. You won't win, but buying them makes you think of winning. The Complete and Total Loser's guess is that anyone buying them these days will think of moving if he or she wins big. New Zealand's nice and their social structure is progressive. Also, it's about the healthiest country on earth—lots of people go to gyms and exercise regularly. They need more obese people like us Americans there to round things off. Maybe if there were more heavy people there they wouldn't have so many earthquakes. We fatties could weigh things down a bit.

The Powerball

A Powerball lottery ticket sits on a window sill, waiting to be a worthless scrap of paper.

Tomorrow morning, the Complete and Total Loser will wake up and hear on the radio that the winning Powerball lottery ticket had been sold in a small town far from where the Loser is wasting his meaningless life. 
No matter. He finds that the fantasies he had after buying his ticket (five of them, actually) were worth it, even though revenge factored into some of them and he dislikes that aspect of them. 

The Loser Loses Big

I will give you $10,000 in US currency for reading this post by midnight of May 18, 2013. 
If. 
Ahh, there's always an "if," isn't there? The if in this case is that the Complete and Total Loser's Powerball ticket wins the grand prize tomorrow night. 
And this is something we all know won't happen no matter how many tickets we buy. 
Lotteries are a panacea for the poor. Rather than work to find out the hows and whys of the ridiculous inequality running wild in this era, they, the people who can least afford it, buy tickets. And hope. And dream.
Morons. Idiots. Losers.