Really, Gmail?

 They probably spent millions of dollars on labor and computing power to change this: 

 

To this:

I don't know about you, but the suspense was killing me!

Welcome to Google Double Plus!

Google Double Plus is up and running thanks to our belief that all gmail users want to share everything about themselves and want it to be easy!

Don't worry about complicated signup procedures—you're already a member a Google Double Plus! Google Double Plus offers numerous products all under one simple name. Among the ones we'll make known are:

• All your email from all accounts ever used while a gmail user, present, past, sent, received and deleted is now searchable by anyone by name, topic, date and keyword. Now, all anyone who knows your email address can enter it into google search with his or her name and have instant access to emails containing that name
• Your location can be found by anyone if you have a mobile device of any kind, regardless of carrier or plan.
• Any comment a Google user has ever made will be searchable by anyone.
• Any site accessed or topic searched for will be known to all, whether you were logged into your Google account or not.

Speaking of logged in, all users will be unable to log out of Google. This will make using Google easier for you! No more passwords or log-in names to remember.
For Google users wishing to opt out of Google Double Plus, doing so is easy. Access Account Settings, Account Management, Security, Security Settings, Advanced, Google Double Plus, Password Management, Password Settings, Password Verification, Change Password Settings, Password Settings Change Verification, Google Double Plus Privacy Settings, Privacy Settings Verification, Change Privacy Settings, Settings Change Verification, Accept Verification.
It's that easy!
Then wait two to six weeks for the new settings to take place. You will receive an email notifying you when the settings are set to occur, after which you will need to re-do the process above for your security. Any variation in order or entries will delete a change request and require that you start again after a ten-day waiting period. If you are successful in changing at any time, a second email notifying you of the settings change will be sent. You must respond to this within two hours, again for security reasons. If at any time in the sixty days after your successful change you mouse over the words Google, Google +, Google Double Plus, Google ++, or Gmail, your full benefits of Google Double Plus will be reinstated. 
Thank you from the team at Google for joining Google Double Plus!

Always connected

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Only connect"? It refers to an E.M. Forster quote from his 1910 novel, "Howards End" (which the Complete and Total Loser hasn't read, by the way):

"Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die."

-- Chapter 22. The "her" is Margaret.

These days the Internet is almost demanding that everyone never disconnect. Remember when "Sign Off" was always right there when you were on Yahoo! or Gmail? Not now. You have to click on something that's barely recognizable as an icon (something that looks kind of like a gear, often) to get that option, and I swear that when I click on Sign Off it goes to something different, like my profile. What they want, obviously, is to keep you on so they can track everything you do and sell the data to advertisers so they can add to their already obscene profits. At some point there will be so many hoops to jump through that we'll all just say, fine, I won't log off.
And people are afraid of the NSA's snooping. Please. We do a fine job of that on our own.