The Complete and Total Loser read a letter referring to the Germanwings air crash, caused deliberately by the suicidal co-pilot. The letter noted that there are drones being flown by pilots on the other side of the planet, and that future planes should have that technology. If they did and went markedly off course, a drone pilot could take over the controls.
It's a short step from there to have the plane flown without a pilot at all, which some Airbus pilots would tell you they nearly are already.
There will always be someone onboard who knows how to fly, however, unless human instinct changes drastically. A change to that degree is unlikely in the time the Loser, who is in his late fifties now, has left. There will be someone in the cockpit for the rest of the Loser's life, if only to tap on the gauges, like people do in movies.
In 2002 the Complete and Total Loser worked in a branch of a major news agency. Some months after September 11 of the previous year, there was a
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| Andreas Lubitz |
minor incident at the international airport in the Loser's home city. A pilot, angry at the then overly stringent, since relaxed, rules about what you can take on airplanes, was angry at having an object that meant something to him confiscated by airport security.
The story that ran said he had said something threatening and been taken into custody because of it, the flight delayed for several hours as a substitute was found.
What the pilot said was never reported, but the reporter who covered the incident told the Loser what it was and it was this: "I could crash this plane in my underwear."
That is, as we've all been painfully reminded, to true.
