Christmas 2015

The Loser got these an hour ago. They're gone now. He ate them to try to fill a hole in his miserable, lonely life.

It is warm and sticky where the Complete and Total Loser lives, which is on the northern East Coast of the United States. It has yet to go down to freezing. There are bugs everywhere, new growth on plants. Earthworms are rioting in the streets after yet more rain. The humidity makes the Loser feel the bacteria clinging to his face, which is oily even though he's in late middle age. His sole gift has been a tin of nuts from a friend, and he's grateful to get it as he's unemployed again. A neighbor just gave him cookies, which he will eat even though he doesn't need them. Meanwhile, the Loser has a splitting headache and a bad cold and he's exhausted.

Flaccid

The Complete and Total Loser has never felt more ... blah ... than he does now. He has no drive, no passion, no ambition of any kind. There is nothing physically wrong with him but if he could he would spend his days in bed, listening to his radio, doing crossword puzzles, reading magazines. There would be no reason for him to leave it.
This ambitionless ambition may come true one day. The Loser's parents are elderly, and have mentioned that when they die they will leave him their house, given that his two successful siblings both have several houses. The house is a two story house with three bedrooms, two bathrooms on a good piece of land in a good suburb within walking distance of a train station. By no means impressive in most of the country, its location in his part of the East Coast would have it selling for nearly half a million dollars.

The Loser is used to getting by on twenty thousand dollars a year. With the proceeds from the house wisely invested in conservative places, he would move far from his city, where the cost of living is low, buy a house far from others, stuff it with supplies, and sleep until he is dead.