If only I had done this

 

A radio show I was listening to recently about self awareness featured an expert on the topic who said that while most people think they're degree of self awareness is high, the reality is that just ten to fifteen percent of us are, no matter how old you are.

Two things she advised that I wish I'd known and done when I was twenty-two instead of sixty-two:

1. When things go badly, don't ask yourself why they went badly. Why questions seldom get honest answers and harm well being. Ask what questions, followed by how questions. That is, instead of saying, "Why didn't that person want to see me again?" or "Why didn't I get that job?" ask "What went well on that date? What didn't?" and "What did I do well on that interview?" followed by "How can I do better the next time?"
2. Have a Dinner of Truth with a friend and ask them, "What do I do that annoys you most?" Choose honest friends, not ones who tell you you look great when you know you don't. No matter what they say, you answer must be, "Thank you. Tell me more."

The only thing I'd dispute is that age is irrelevant, especially regarding the second one. Over the years, enough people have told me of the social blunders I've committed that I have learned. But I get depressed by how long it took me to absorb their lessons and how many of them I could have learned and rectified by the time I was twenty-five instead of fifty.