Results

When you have cancer that's going to eat away at your bones until you are dead, it's good to be involved in your care, but only to a point.

When I got a phone call from my doctor's office this morning to 

set up an appointment to consult with him to discuss what to do about the results of a recent bone biopsy, I didn't probe deeply when talking to the woman setting up the appointment. First, she's a physician's assistant; it's not her role to tell me about the interpretation of the tests. Second, what good would it do for me to know now? Today's Tuesday and I'll be seeing my doctor a week from today, his schedule being what it is. The details of the pathology report are likely scary ones, but without the details at hand I can put it on, if not a back burner, a middle burner for now and think about other things for the next few days. Household chores, meal preparation, the book I'm reading, contact with friends, walks outside.

I accept that there's a mind and body connection that influences health, but not over the course of a week. Time not focusing on bad news is good for mental health, right? When I was young, I thought of myself as a realist who wouldn't shy away from unpleasant truths. Now in my sixties, I see the value of not dwelling on them.