Tumor tree

This may be the tree equivalent of what my right leg looks like inside. The bulge would be the tumor that's throwing bad cells to other parts of my body, like my lungs, and therefore will be amputated on two weeks from the day I'm writing this. 
Just think; if I were a tree I'd be funny looking but otherwise fine.
A very old tree joke I still like: I wanted to be a tree surgeon but I fainted at the sight of sap.