Every day is worse

The diagnosis I got earlier this week, that I am terminally ill and that no treatment can save me, has changed my life, as you might expect. Although my condition was detectable only by various scans and I feel well, I'm questioning every little twinge and ache in my body. I know that's stupid, but I also knows that I have conditions in my lungs, heart, prostate and leg, so I'm not too wrong about this. 

Some cabins at Valley Forge Park.

I have been taking sleeping pills before bed and they work well but I still wake up before five in the morning and can't get back to sleep. During the days, I feel as though my clothes are made of lead. I took one of my walks in Valley Forge Park today, but rather than see nature's beauty, I saw only beauty that I will never see again in a year, two if I'm lucky. 
I wonder, will I adjust to this and be able to read or watch a movie again or will such things be too slight to distract me?